How to Find True Love

Ten Dating and Relationship Tips

This is the first of ten dating and relationship tips to help you find true love.  Take them seriously.  Practicing these relationship tips will help you to stay on the straight and narrow road.  It will also help you to avoid the counterfeit which may look like love but is not.

Relationship Tip #1: Be Honest

Truth is one of the foundations of true love.  Without honesty and trust, it cannot be real love. We all may be inclined to say, “duh.”  But, how often do we have the tendency to be less than honest in our relationships or going out on a date with someone new?  Imagine this scene:

You have a big date lined up with someone find very attractive who you have wanted to go out with for a long time.  The date night has arrived.  You start to feel butterflies in your stomach, along with a sense of nervousness anticipation.  You hope everything just goes perfect.  After all, you have been waiting for this moment for a long time.

You meet your date and they inform you that they love Asian food and then ask if you do as well.  Though you hate this style of food, you don’t want to lose out on the date, so you swallow the apple in your throat and say, “Umm, yeah… yeah, I love Asian.”  At the restaurant, besides the food, everything seems to be going great.  Your date then throws a bomb when they mention out of the blue, and for no reason, that they hate religion and they don’t understand why anyone would go to church or pray.  Let’s say you are a religious person and are surprised and disappointed to hear this.  You wonder to yourself if this relationship can work?  But, you don’t say anything for fear of not going out again with this person you like.  You may even give a little nod which says that you agree.

Does any of this sound familiar?  Don’t we all have this tendency once in a while?  Even if you are not a spiritual person; imagine your date saying that they hate something that you like and hold dear.  Will you be able to speak up to them honestly and tell them your feelings?  Will you be able to talk about this and express your differences of opinion in a mature way, even if it means not getting a second date or getting broken up with?

The truth is that being our self and being honest is the foundation of any relationship.  We must remember that dating is a mature act.  It’s for mature people.  If we are going to date, then we need to have a backbone, be our self, and always say what we mean.  Furthermore, we can’t be afraid to talk about those things that bother us or problems in a relationship.  If we can’t be honest about what we like and dislike in little areas like movies, food, and other things, then we will not in more important areas either.  If we don’t have the guts to be honest and say, “No, I don’t like Asian, how about Italian?” then we won’t be able have the guts to say no to kisses or sexual advances that make us feel uncomfortable or aren’t ready for.  How many people have put up with problems or abuse all because they are too afraid to say something and stand up for themselves?

Don’t you want people to fall in love with YOU?  How can they do that if you don’t present to them the real you?  Being dishonest or covering up our real feelings undermines who we are, and every lie gives the other person a false impression of who you really are.  They believe something about you that is not you.  Thus, they can never fall in love with you, but only the person you have presented and created.  Love that is not based on truth is not really love.

On another note, outright lying in a relationship is a clear sign that something is very wrong.  We don’t lie to people we love.  Ever.  If you discover someone is lying, you have two options.  #1. Break up with them.  #2.  Confront them on it and discuss it with them.  They need to be honest with you about that lie and come completely clean.  Additionally, they need to have 100% honesty in the future.  If not, see option #1.  If they continue to promise to change and don’t, see option #1.  After all, aren’t you worth true love and not a lie?

Love is based on trust!  The more we trust someone, the more we can fall in love with them.  If can’t trust them, then we can’t love them, and visa versa.  Sorry, but there is no way around this.  Unlike “Reality TV,” let us shoot for 100% honesty and integrity in our relationships.  If you need to make some corrections in your life, then work hard on doing so.  You will be glad you did.

This is only the first principle in the “Relationship Tips” series, and if we are going to build a beautiful, shining house of love, then we need to have a firm foundation.  That foundation is honesty and trust!

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See you soon for more dating and relationship tips.