Did you see the video that is going viral of the woman named Paige who made a five-minute rant video about her husband? At least, that’s the way Matt Walsh from The Daily Wire portrayed it in his YouTube SHORT that came up in my feed. I watched his video on the situation and was initially upset with the woman. However, I then watched her full video in context and became upset with Mr. Walsh instead.
Matt Walsh really took her comments out of context. He spliced together a few short clips while ignoring the larger message she was trying to communicate. She was discussing problems that exist in many modern marriages, especially when both spouses are working outside the home. While she certainly left out some important points about women and marriage that I will bring up later, I also think she made several valid observations about men and the struggles many couples face today.
At the end of her video, Paige says, “I have loved my husband and I’m lucky. I have a sweet guy who listened to me, who worked on himself, and we are better than ever in our marriage.” Matt Walsh completely left that out. So, while Matt said she simply trashed her husband for five minutes, the video itself revealed the inaccuracy of that statement. That bothered me because Catholics know what it feels like to be taken out of context and misrepresented. Yet I feel like that is exactly what happened to this woman.
Paige explained that she and her husband had been together for almost twenty years and had four children. They both worked full-time. On paper, she described him as an amazing husband: supportive, kind, loyal, a great father, very hands-on, and always present. Yet despite those good qualities, she became deeply frustrated and burned out from marriage and motherhood.
She explained that when many couples have children, women often end up carrying a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the home. They take on the mental load of organizing the household, caring for the children, planning schedules, cooking meals, and managing daily responsibilities. About three months after her fourth child was born, she told her husband, “I need more. I need you to do more. I am exhausted. I oversee everyone and everything in this house.”
Her husband responded the way many husbands do: “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” She explained that something as simple as emptying the dishwasher, putting away the dishes, and taking out the trash before she came downstairs with the children would greatly help her mornings. Her husband agreed to do it but sometimes forgot. She found herself repeatedly reminding him.
One morning she discovered the trash overflowing and her son’s water bottle still sitting in the dishwasher – two things they had agreed upon. At that moment she felt unseen, unappreciated, and overwhelmed. Maybe she was overreacting, but in her mind, she began thinking, “What’s the point? I might as well do this alone.” She clarified that it was not because her husband did not love her or because she did not love him, but because she felt emotionally exhausted and taken for granted.
She also pointed out something else important: these problems often do not happen intentionally. Society places different expectations on mothers and fathers. The expectations placed upon women are often far higher than those placed upon men. She and her husband fell into those cultural roles without realizing it.
However, she also explained that her husband loved her and genuinely wanted to improve. Together they worked through their problems, communicated honestly, and slowly rebuilt balance within their marriage. Three years later, she says they are happier than ever, their children are thriving, and their home is a well-oiled machine well.
This entire part of the story was omitted by Mr. Walsh in his SHORT.
To be honest, she is right about many of these struggles. My wife and I have been married for about twenty years as well, and we have gone through many of the same things. When both spouses work outside the home, women often do carry a heavier burden regarding household management and children. Many men are not stepping up the way they should as husbands and fathers.
At the same time, there is another side of the issue that often gets ignored. Many wives have expectations that they never clearly communicate. Men are sometimes expected to simply know what their wives are thinking. Problems then build and frustrations fester internally, then it all explodes. That is why communication is absolutely essential in marriage.
Marriage is so difficult precisely because there are countless things that need to be communicated, navigated, and worked through. Many couples allow frustrations to silently fester until they eventually come out in unhealthy and toxic ways. But healthy marriages are built when couples honestly sit down, communicate their feelings, validate one another, and work toward solutions together.
One thing I also believe the woman left out is that many women unintentionally run themselves into the ground taking on too much and doing too much. They push themselves relentlessly, take on too much responsibility, and often struggle to slow down or even rest at all. Many women feel pressure to meet impossible standards regarding motherhood, appearance, productivity, and home life – and many times, they dump that pressure on the man unfairly.
Men often know how to stop, step away, and recharge. They may watch a show, go golfing, play a game, take a walk, or simply rest for a while. Many women, however, struggle to give themselves permission to rest. They feel guilty slowing down. They continue piling responsibilities onto themselves until they are emotionally and mentally exhausted. Then, many times, they begin to resent the man who for taking breaks, or for “being lazy.”
So, while many men absolutely need to step it up more within marriage and family life and take on more responsibility around the house, many women also need to step back, slow down, rest, and stop placing impossible expectations upon themselves.
My wife and I have had these exact discussions many times throughout our marriage. There were moments when she felt I was not doing enough, while I felt she was taking on tasks too quickly instead of allowing me time to complete what I said I would do. Marriage requires patience, communication, grace, understanding, and compromise from both sides.
That is what marriage ultimately is: two broken people learning how to love and accept one another despite weaknesses and failures. In many ways, that reflects our relationship with God. God knows we are broken, yet He continues loving us through our struggles. In the same way, husbands and wives must learn to love each other through difficulties rather than allowing bitterness and resentment to destroy the relationship.
Maybe many of you can relate to some of these struggles. We actually have another YouTube channel called Catholic Truth Living where we discuss marriage, relationships, family life, sexuality, and many of the practical struggles couples face today. Marriage is difficult. But it can also be beautiful when couples work through those struggles together.
I believe she was trying to help people navigate real marital struggles and encourage couples to communicate and work through their issues instead of giving up. Her care for others seemed sincere.
